My Private Life

Bonus Part1

zefferus — Fri, 20 Jan 2012 23:44:08 +0000

no matter how little i get for my bonus last quarter plus with the 5% reduction of it (something that was not my mistakes) from my lovely boss who don’t appreciate my hard work, I’m still gonna buy something to treat myself, and this something will bring changes for me this year! stay tuned boss, you want to hurt me a little, i’ll hurt you back a lot!

The Email

zefferus — Thu, 27 Oct 2011 21:36:50 +0000

it has been months before that someone that i used to love to get in touch back with me via email. as expected the main reason of their disappearance is because of their work commitment. well i am sort of glad that “we” did not happen, because i dont wanna be with someone who only care about their work more than me. on the other side, i am still confuse up until now, if that someone really cant be with me, what the heck contacting me for? trying to mess up with my feeling? i rather they gone forever in my life because their presence really leave an impact for me. and i dont really like it. i rather move on, meet new people rather look back at my past with them that inflicted so much pain. so i did response to the email. and did i get another response? NADA! whatever mate …

Stop It Right Now

zefferus — Sun, 18 Sep 2011 22:03:30 +0000

i’ve decided to put a stop to look for the one right now.
i’m too tired with this mating game that they like to play.
if it happen, it will happened.
if it is not, then i am ok with it.
over the past few months, or in fact the past few years,
i guess the one i’m looking for is not exist at all
a mixed signal, a good liar, a great cheater, a user
are all that i found
OMG, they are not something that i am looking for
ok i better stop, this is getting a bit frustfrating indeed
until then, cheers

Re-think

zefferus — Sun, 04 Sep 2011 00:00:11 +0000

i had a second thought about dating the new person. though the new person seems genuine and nice but based from my past experiences, a good and genuine person can be a bad person who disguising themselves as a sheep, when the truth they are the fox . right now my feeling feel that the new person that I’m going to date is the same type as the previous person i have dated before. they are all the same i think, yet i still like them. i dunno what’s wrong with me! maybe i am blind when it come to them. maybe i should just stop looking for the one. maybe i should just play the same game too. but if i play the same game, i know i will lose as they are all have more experience than me. a friend of mine told me that i should be the one in control and the one with power in that game. but i am not that ruthless enough to play around with someone else feeling and emotion. being too nice do no good to me in that game. but being bad is not the solution that i will go for either. so what choice do i have?

Happy Eid 2011

zefferus — Mon, 29 Aug 2011 00:15:30 +0000

happy eid to my dear reader. 1 month has passed. its time to celebrate it.

on the side notes:

- im dating a new person

- i saw the pic of someone that i used to date, apparently we have a mutual friend

- the person look happy, so am i =)

cheers

August 2011

zefferus — Sun, 21 Aug 2011 10:14:05 +0000

work: super crazy and super stress every day! maybe it is too much for me to handle all alone or maybe I’m handling it the wrong way.

friends: same old same old, no new friends at the moment

lifestyle: on hiatus for 1 month…kinda miss it and kinda not

love: its so damn complicated as always for me

Protected: A Good Man is Hard to Find

zefferus — Sun, 10 Jul 2011 15:19:04 +0000

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What A Colleagues For?

zefferus — Sun, 10 Jul 2011 14:59:19 +0000

i thought my colleagues are fun & caring people. i was wrong. they are only fun people but not really care about their colleague especially me! i was sick last friday and none of those bitches care enough to help me buy my food for lunch! what the fuck! 2 of them went to our usual friday place…which i can understand completely as the place is quite far. but the other 2 are completely bitches. they used the lame excuse, “i have packed lunch” & “i just returned from food court, why dont you walk down there its only nearby”. it was not that i dont want to walk and buy my own food, it was because i dont even think i can make it with my fever and flu + hot scorching weather outside. so i ended up laying on the sofa in the lounge alone (there are other staffs but most of them pretended not seeing me (what the fuck!) these island people are really inconsiderate people. (at least i wont be long here, i’ll go as soon as possible when i achieve my target).

June’s Updates

zefferus — Sat, 25 Jun 2011 00:14:18 +0000

it has been a while since i last put a post here. one of the reason is that i am very busy with work. and i am also busy with my new lifestyles. thought at the moment, i still haven’t found the right one yet, at least i do meet few options that might render potential hope. it just this time around i’m gonna take my time slowly and see what happen in future. if it happen, it will happen, if it is not, it will not then. sometimes, i do wondered how come i always picked the wrong one? and to make the matter worse, i often meet the wrong one too! french said “c’est la vie”. i say “what’s wrong with this?!” but whatever it is, i do actually enjoy my current lifestyle “work hard, but can still have some fun” which is good. next i’m gonna start planning for my very first solo trip for this year. i have few selection of places that i wanted to go, but no decision has been made yet. until then… stay tuned.

Last Sunday @ JL’s party

zefferus — Sun, 24 Apr 2011 12:41:24 +0000

Last sunday was one of a very good day that i have in my entire life. i attended a friend of mine, JL’s birthday party at his place. the party started at 4pm sharp. i was late for 15 minutes. the reason was because i was buying a gift for him. since it was very last minute thing to do, i had difficulty to decide what should i gave him. luckily his place near the mall. so i went to the mall and decided to buy him a letter opener that looked like a small sword. i hope he likes it.

so after purchasing the gift, i walked to his place. i thought i was late, it turned out, i was one of the early guest to come. i was the 6th person actually. at first it was weird to be there. it was because, apart from the host (JL), i hardly know any other people. and knowing myself better than anyone else, i know i will not enjoy the party if i cant socialize around. its true that i was not very socialize person. so the first half an hour is very difficult for me. i just sat at one corner of a table and pretending to play with my phone and enjoying my lemon drink.

as the time progress, more people keep coming. and among many people, there were two that captured my attention. the first one i like (J) was not very friendly but quite attractive and tall. but this person was not even try to talk to me. the second one (D), seems friendly and cute but D came with a partner.

so then it was time for our water polo game in the pool. i decided not to join at 1st. but after 2nd thought i changed my mind, since i came there with all water’s activities preparation. i brought my swimming trunk, swimming brief, goggle, towel and even a book so that i can read and have a nice tan. after a quick change, i decided to jump into the pool.

i did got some attention when i was about to enter the pool. but i ignored it and enjoyed myself alone at the pool. i swam, floated all by myself. by this time, they had already started playing water polo game. well not exactly water polo but more than throwing a ball to the other person and see who can catch it. after few minutes, or maybe half an hour, i finally joined them. it was fun. i realized when i was in a game, i tend to be very competitive. i think they saw it in me. however the funny thing was, instead taking me seriously, they playing around with me. which was fun and i enjoyed it. D did teased me couple of times, so did J. O and K, was like my friend there. but since we were in a game, we played like it was a game. after and hour, the game got more intense, people tend to be more playful and a bit aggressive. there were a bit of physical activities going on. grabbing, throwing, dragging, you name it. D even accidentally throwed the ball straight to my face. lucky i was wearing goggle the whole time. if i was using my glasses, D has to buy me a new one instantly! hehe

so when it was about 7pm, we stopped our game and headed to bbq area. prior to the event, i mentioned to JL maybe he would consider to get a bbq that i can eat, and he did. thanks JL! so this time, i can really enjoy the food, however because i drank too much pool water when they dragging me in a pool (especially D and O) when playing the game. i got an upset stomach. i cant eat that much, and i don’t really enjoyed the bbq. so i chat with D, R, and O during the bbq. they are friendly people. i can imagine they become my friends in future. D was actually good at making up stories. it all seems realistic. i was one of the people who fall for it. but at least D confessed the truth. so it’s not like D was lying what so ever. there was 1 time, i accidentally showed D my flirtiness while i was eating the melted chocolate. it was not my intention in the first place. i don’t really attracted to someone who is taken. but anyhow it happened and i find it was funny as it came from me, tho unintentionally.

around 9pm some of the people starting to leave. D, R, O and K were some of the people who left. i took their numbers so that we can keep in touch in future. they were a nice people after all. and i don’t mind meeting them again and even be their friend. so after they all leave, i also wanted to make my move and leave. i gave JL his present and then i saw J was back from i dunno where. so we chatted for the first time. since J seemed not that friendly at first, so the conversation was very casual and closed. then i asked what was J’s full name. i cant pronounce it. so J gave me J’s business card. then i did the same. which i should not do. my business card were meant for my clients when i am meeting them up for the meeting. i dunno what made me gave J mine? maybe it was just a small gesture or just trying to do the same as J were.

after that, all of us packed all the stuffs and went to JL’s house. i was ready to leave again but they have one more game. since i like playing game, i decided to participate in another game. i ended up with a team with JL, the birthday boy. and J was in the opposite team. it was a very simple and easy quizzes games (for me). i managed to answers almost every questions thrown at me or the opposing team. i did try to show to people how brilliant i am so that i could attract some attention. but most of all, it was all because in a game, i will be very competitive. guess what, even tho i answers most of the questions correctly. my team lost! i suspected there was a fault. so the losing team has to perform. i did not participate it since i was not comfortable to perform in front of lot of people.

after the game, i left in a rush as i need to be quick to catch my train and my bus. so i left without saying goodbye. the only person i said goodbye to was JL, since he was the host and it was his party. so i left. i ran to the train station, and managed to board the next train. and then guess what, someone texted me saying it was nice to meet me. i was confused at first, it came from someone who i feel don’t even like me and don’t even try to talk to me at the party. who was this someone? was it JL? or D? or J? or R? or O? or K? or someone else that i did not mentioned above?

what happened next? to be continued…

ps: based on the consequences after a week from the 1st text, i maybe not willing to shared what happened between that someone and i. it’s better for me to forget everything about it and pretending it never happened. basically what happened was, i read the signal wrongly and i came too strong. luckily now everything is crystal clear, i will stop doing what i did and i will move on. I’ll took it as a lesson.